Halloween Jokes

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party ?

He had no body to go with !

What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks ?

They had a rattling good time !

Why did the skeleton go to hospital ?

To have his ghoul stones removed !

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain ?

He could feel it in his bones !

What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument ?

A trom-bone !

How do skeletons call their friends ?

On the telebone !

What do you call a skeleton who won't get up in the
mornings ?

Lazy bones !

What do boney people use to get into their homes ?

Skeleton keys !

What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns ?

Skint Eastwood !

What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of
piranha fish ?

It came back with a skeleton crew !

What do you call a skeleton snake ?

A rattler !

Which skeleton wears a kilt ?

Boney Prince Charlie !

What is a skeletons favourite drink ?

Milk - it's so good for the bones !

Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night ?

He was a numbskull !

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties ?

Because there is lots of school spirit !

What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to
her Halloween party ?

The cat are her !

A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head.

"Are you a ghost ?" asked his friends

"No, I'm an unmade bed !"

Another boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his
head.

"Are you an unmade bed ?" asked his friends

"No, I'm an undercover agent !"

What did the really ugly man do for a living ?

He posed for Halloween masks !

What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains ?

Boo-ts and ghoul-oshes !

Why are ghosts bad at telling lies ?

Because you can see right through them !

Where does Sitting Bull's ghost live ?

In a creepy teepee !

Who writes ghosts jokes ?

Crypt writers !

What kind of street does a ghost like best ?

A dead end !

What do ghosts dance to ?

Soul music !

Where do ghosts go on holiday ?

The Ghosta Brava!

What did the ghost teacher say to her class ?

Watch the board and I'll go through it again !

What do you call a ghost who stays out all night ?

A fresh air freak !

What do you call a dog owned by Dracula ?

A blood hound !

Why does Dracula have no friends ?

Because he's a pain in the neck !

What was the Californian vampire hippy like ?

He was ghoul man, real ghoul !

What's a vampire's favourite sport ?

Batminton !

What happened to the mad vampire ?

He went a little batty !

What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day ?

A coffin break !

What do vampire footballers have at half times ?

Blood oranges !

How does a vampire like his food served ?

In bite sized pieces !

Where do vampires go on holiday ?

The Isle of Fright !

Why did the vampire take up acting ?

It was in his blood !

Who plays centre forward for the vampire football team ?

The ghoulscorer !

What's a vampire's favourite soup ?

Sharks' fang soup !

What happened to the lovesick vampire ?

He became a neck-romancer !

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail ?

I don't know but it would slow him down !

Which vampire ate the three bears porridge ?

Ghouldilocks !

Why did the vampire go to hospital ?

He wanted his ghoulstones removed !

Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with a finger
up his nose ?

He was a ghoulsniffer !

What's a vampire's favourite drink ?

A bloody mary !

What's a vampire's favourite dance ?

The fangdango !

Which vampire tried to eat James Bond ?

Ghouldfinger !

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts!

When do vampires bite you ?

On wincedays !

What do vampires think of blood transfusions ?

Newfangled rubbish !

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